Trade offs

Moving from Anguilla to here, I have had to make some trade offs. How many times had I sat in my shorts on the beach watching and listening to the waves lap up against the shore, the birds cawing above me? Not a footprint on the beach for as far as I could see. Looking out at the billowing clouds as they meandered across the sky, beer in hand. Hypnotic in the way that looking at a fire can be.

Trade offs.

Today, I sat outside in my chair, bundled up against the cold, 6-8 inches of snow all around me. Not a footprint anywhere around me. Scotch in my hand. Not a sound to be heard. Crystal clear blue skies. The mountains covered in white glistening powder. A lone squirrel running along the top of the fence chirping at me and pretending to be Louis Armstrong. I actually heard him sing, "What a wonderful World". You know what? That squirrel was right. It is a wonderful world!!

Trade offs are good.

Happy New Year to all!! As good as life is, the best is yet to come.

It's the little things

Good things come to those that wait.

I have been riding my bike or walking everywhere I want to go. It's wonderful. But, alas, the cold has set in and riding a bike in the cold and the dark has lost some of its appeal. Brrr. So, it's been the bus!! At 2 bucks every time I get on it. That's 4 bucks a day. That adds up!! Today, I met a guy on my street that says our neighborhood has a bus program for those that live in the immediate area. So now, it costs me 75 bucks a year for UNLIMITED bus service. To anywhere!! I can go to Ned for free. Denver, no charge. Eldora for skiing, nada! It's like a whole new world has opened up. I can't wait to go to the bus station and say, "I want the next bus out of here!" Just so I can pretend I'm in the movies.

Stay tuned for where my new freedom takes me!! Let's not forget that not everyone is as free as we are. I love you bro'.

Yin/Yang

So I go to work on Friday morning, beautiful fall day. Sunny, crisp, never ending blue skies, gorgeous. I leave work at 8PM and it is friggin' FREEZING!! OMG, what the hell happened. Winter blew in. I had on long pants and a sweat shirt. Remember, this is from a guy that hasn't spent a winter in over over 35 years. I've been in them for a few short days but an entire winter?

Now the yang. Fall!! I haven't seen colors like this in years. All the leaves are changing, the grass is a beautiful golden brown, the mountains are a riot of colors, the sky seems endless, the nights are perfectly clear with stars glimmering like, well, like snowflakes, is one thing that comes to mind. And with all the bitching about the cold, I can't wait to sit bundled up on a snow covered mountain top somewhere with a glass of wine in my hand, the sun beating on me, and catch those snowflakes on my tongue. And think of spring right around the corner.

Heroes

By the numbers. 168 completely burned houses in the Four Mile Canyon Fire. Amazing. That means not just part of the house, but the ENTIRE house is gone!! Can you imagine it? I am having a hard time fathoming it and looking forward with trepidation to seeing the destruction. Also, why did some houses burn and ones right next door have NO damage whatsoever? I have three personal friends that lost everything. They have just the clothes on their back. And you know what? Not one of them is complaining. Actually, one was quite stoic about it. He said, "hey, I went through Katrina and lost everything, so I'll just start again". Amazing!! Oh, by the way, no loss of life!!

Which brings me to last Sunday. There was a street fair on east Pearl St. Food, booths, the usual. What was unusual, was they were able to put together a makeshift parade for the firefighters. Down the street they came, firefighters, families that lost everything, a makeshift band, and people just celebrating!! People waving banners thanking the people that helped them save their homes. There were plenty of tears including from myself. The firefighters actually seemed embarrassed by the attention. These firefighters were young kids, older guys, women, professional firefighters, and volunteers. All races and ethnic backgrounds. When a community comes together it is truly awe inspiring.

If you knew a disaster was about to wipe out your house and you had a 1/2 hour to take things from your house, what would you grab?

Fall

I figured out that the last time I spent a winter was when I was 18 in Chicago. Am I looking forward to it? Well, sort of. It will be fun and I know it will get COLD, but this foreplay is the best. The leaves are starting to change color, there is a briskness in the air, sleeping in the cool night with a blanket is heaven, and sitting in the backyard with my coffee and a blankie wrapped around me in the morning is bliss. Even the birds and squirrels seem to be cheerful, happy, singing and chirping (or whatever it's called that squirrels do). So I talk back to them. Am I Dr. Doolittle? I'm sure my neighbors think I'm crazy and who's to say I'm not!! Are crazy people the last to know? Anyone out there that can answer that? Ahh, but that's the conundrum. If you know the answer, what does that say about you?

The Joys of Carefree Meanderings

Lately I turn my mind off completely and go. Letting my feet take me where they want to go. My mind and body just along for the ride.

Last Sunday I let my feet (and a bus) take me to Nederland. About 1/2 hour from Boulder in the mountains. Crisp, clear air, long walk around the lake, live music in the bar, friendly people everywhere. Goin' again this Sunday.....or who knows? Maybe my feet will take me somewhere else.

FREEDOM!!

There is NOTHING like it. NOTHING!! The ability to go wherever, whenever, one wants. Take a minute to think about it. Remember, not everyone has that luxury. Whether it be in a country where you are unable to do what you want or in a prison somewhere. Take another moment and think about it. I miss you bro'.

Red Rocks Rocks!!!

Help. I've been kidnapped!! Yep. Saturday night I was at work around 7 PM when in pop a couple friends. They were heading up to Red Rocks to see Michael Franti and Spearhead. They lured me into the car with tequila. I don't know how I could be so stupid. I was brought up to not take things from strangers. Once in the car, I pleaded with them to understand that NOBODY would send them ransom money, but they insisted they could get something!! At that point, I figured there was no sense in fighting it so I went along for the ride.

What a ride it was. Red Rocks is an absolutely magical spot. It's a natural amphitheater that holds about 10,000 people. Geez, there were almost as many people in one venue then all of Anguilla!! And I loved it!! I forgot how much fun that many people can have. Views of Denver are almost 180 degrees. And the sound was perfect even from the cheap seats. There is something about a group gathering where everyone is having a great time, singing, dancing, and smiling. Lots of hugs and general merriment.

The music was uplifting. A cross between rap, rock, and reggae. He is quite a performer and I feel lucky to have been kidnapped to such a beautiful spot.

Well, I am writing this so you know that the kidnappers let me go. They finally realized I have no money, and nobody that was going to send them money, so after being drugged into a stupor by their tequila, I was dumped out of the car in front of my house around 1AM.

Any other kidnappers out there? Come get me!!

My butt hurts!!

A friend of mine live in Niwot which is 25 miles round trip from Boulder. Yesterday I went to get coffee at a nice Italian cafe here in Boulder. I didn't know it was a hang out for a multitude of bike fanatics. They all come in dressed in their silly little biker pants, shirts, and shoes. Me? I'm in flip flops, tee shirt, and shorts. Hmmmm, what's going on? They were all there to watch the Tour de France!! Can you believe it? I guess they thought I was crazy when I asked them to turn the TV to the British Open, which to them is as boring as me watching the T de F. Anyway, hyped up on a double cap, I decided to screw the heat and ride on out to Niwot. It was perfect. A little heat, lots of water, and a nice long ride!! My idea of fun!! I think people feel I escaped from the asylum when they see my flopping my arms, IPOD earphones stuck in my ears, and mooing at the cows. Screw them!! They say you're only a kid once, but I'm finding out that's utter bullshit. I'm a kid again and to prove it I'm gonna buy me a hula hoop!! Wish me luck that I don't throw my back out!!

Sounds of Thunder!!

Fourth of July in the States. I forgot what it was after spending the last 4 in Anguillla where it is definitely NOT a holiday. But it made me reminisce that 20 years ago was my first vacation to Anguilla. What a long strange trip its been since then.

I also forgot what a REAL storm is. Monsoons!! Bundled up in a blanket reading a book, listening to the massive thunder, watching the incredible lightening, and being mesmerized by the patter of rain drops. There may be nothing more comforting.

It just keeps getting better.

Sounds of Silence

Incredible walk today. The mountains are such a beautiful place to take stock, meditate, and view the beauty around us. My early morning walk today was overly peaceful. The only sounds I heard were the birds chattering to each other about what a beautiful day it is and how wonderful it is to be alive. The only other sounds I heard were my footsteps and I realized that they sounded too loud to me. It seemed like I was intruding on nature. I sat, closed my eyes, and listened. It's amazing how much you hear when you truly listen. There is nothing like solitude to get in touch with oneself.

Tomorrow is coming up too soon. We find out what's in store for my bro'. I can't thank you enough for your support through this difficult time. The letters that were written may or may not help, but the outpouring of love and the shear amount of letters is mind boggling. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Catching up

Phew. What a week it's been. Started out last Sunday at the Chalk Art Festival in Downtown Denver.

Monday I was informed that I could move into my new digs. It's a beautiful lower unit of an old Victorian home 10 minutes walking distance to Pearl Street, 10 minutes walk to the CU shopping area, and five minutes walk to the trail head. I couldn't be happier with the place and although I just have a bed, dresser, small table, some dishes, and a rocking chair, this place has HUGE potential. Stay tuned for pics of the grounds that are just amazing. It is soooo serene and meditative, that I never want to leave.

However, had to get out the first day and check out the new trail. This entire place has a really good vibe to it. You can be around people when you want but also have serenity when needed. I'm not sure if it's my attitude or the place but I am meeting some incredible people with a really good outlook on life. Soooo different then what the island has become. I feel like a butterfly that has finally been able to spread its wings.

So, enough of the philosophizing. The rest of the week was work related and getting ready for our open house which was a huge success. People from the neighborhood came by to see what we're all about. We had live music, free chair massage, and of course the obligatory wine and cheese. It was so successful we will probably do them every couple weeks.

And got good news from a couple Tucsonans that have promised to visit. My July and August are going to full of visitors and I can't wait to show them around. What a week it's been and I can't wait to wake up tomorrow to see what it brings!! My energy is amazing. My smile is back and my laughter is loud.

Water, water, everywhere

The creeks are just flowing with H2O. Reminds me so much of Dominica.

After living in Anguilla for so long and being a water miser, it is incredible how much water there is here. You sit down at a restaurant or bar and they automatically pour a glass of water and then leave the bottle on the table. It takes awhile to get used to.

Showers? I was so trained to take a quick one, that I found myself doing that here too. But every once in awhile it is soooooo soothing to turn that baby on HOT and just soak in the jets beating away at tired muscles. Ahhhhh, it truly is the little things in life that make me happy!!

Bolder Boulder

10K. No problem. Although I did it walking. It's a blast though. You can't help but get swept up in the crowd mentality, the music, the people dancing, the goof balls dressing up in everything from Santa to Elvis. Just a gentle walk thought the streets. I"m hooked!! So then you come up the final hill, which leads to the CU football stadium, you walk in through the field gate and there are literally 40,000 fans cheering, waving, high fiveing. I walked around the entire track to the finish line with goosebumps, waving up at the crowd like I was someone. And at that time, I really did feel like a star. Now I know how sports figures feel when they come into a stadium. Very heady stuff.

Off to the join the people in the stadium to help root on the people following. Then after about a 30 minute wait, the REAL runners come in. Shit, it took me over an hour and a half to do the thing and these guys are running 10K in under 30 minutes. The Ethiopian team comes into the stadium at the same time and running three abreast and hand in hand run around the track and finish tied for first!! Now that's a team!! The place went bonkers.

Then to top it off, parachute guys come down out of the sky and and in the middle of the field, each one carrying a different flag representing the different military services, and finally a huge American flag. I'm awestruck........but wait.....a lightning bolt goes off in my head. I look over a Jess and say, oh shit, I forgot it was Memorial Day. I thought all this was going on because of the 10K. Duh!! At least Jess sets me straight at how happy she is that she is the only one that heard that lame comment. I redeem my self by suggesting "let's get a drink"!!

Man, this place just keeps getting better. Already met some cool new people. Lot of brainiacs here. I'll bullshit my way around and they'll think I am too!! Shhh. Nobody tell them.

I'm still looking for a place to live. Not as easy as I thought since most places don't become available until August 1st for CU. Fingers crossed!!

Oh, yeah, the battery died on my camera otherwise there would have been a lot more pics. Next year!!

Plug in the IPOD and enjoy my ride to work.

This is just one of the trails I can take to work.

Oh, yeah. Ma, don't worry about your baby boy. He found a place to live!! :)

More pics to come of the BolderBoulder race!!

Swapping

That title got your attention. Nope not what you thought though.

Another long walk in the mountains today. I realized I have swapped beaches for mountains, chickens for squirrels, goats for deer, and a car for a bike!! I had so much fun lying in the grass and watching two squirrels chase each other around the tree, then up the tree, then back down again. They would look at each other and then scamper off again. I guess they were kind of frolicking. :)

Still haven't found a place to live yet. The place I loved has been rented to someone else. Oh well, just means a better place will come up soon.

Work, if that's what you call what I'm doing, is going great. It's fun to be part of a growing business (pun intended). Lot's of good wellness stuff and a built in pilates studio and masseuse whenever I want. Hmmmm. Guess I traded in panini's for massages, too!!!

This long weekend coming up will be wonderful. I'm going to partake in the BolderBoulder, a 10K run/walk that will have over 50,000 people entered. Great way to meet people. Also plenty of music, food and general merriment. Friday night going to see a Motown cover band. That should bring back some memories. Maybe I'll put on my bell bottoms!! I really do feel like I'm reverting back to my younger days.

And a massage is definitely in the works for apres weekend!!

Rocky Mountain HIGH!!!

What a difference a few time zones makes. Boulder!! Absolutely beautiful. The mountains, the smell of the pines, the cool running creeks, endless sky, countless stars. Family!!!

Rode the bike to work today. Along the creek, past CU and all that young vibrancy, through a tree lined forest, and voila, 20 minutes later, I'm at work. Face flushed with the exertion but feeling ready to take on the world. No need for coffee.

Still looking for housing. Been looking in the mountains, but recently, thought about a little bungalow in town. Maybe some wood floors, fireplace, outside deck where I can sit and watch the grass grow. Seems weird to be here after so many years by the beach, but I have that same feeling I had when I first moved to Anguilla. Everything ahead of me. New things to explore, see, and do. Looking in the Boulder Weekly, I can't believe how much there is to do. Every day and every night. Music, art, farmer's market, exhibitions, readings, and much more.

Work is a challenge, but it's what my mind needed. Man, I was becoming jello down there. Feels good to be part of something and seeing the possibilities. The best part of work is that it's so much fun, that it doesn't feel like work. Geez, I'm getting paid to do this?

Thanks to N & S in Tucson for their unbelievable hospitality. Also thanks to all the friends that made me feel so welcome and special. I missed you all!

As for C, still missing you!! Come visit soon!!

Molting

What a ride it's been and now it's time for the adventure to move to a different setting.

Got on the ferry heading for St. Marten. I realized when I got to St. Marten, that during the entire ride I never, not once, looked back. Really made me think. Not looking back. And as each mile went past me, I felt like I was losing my old skin and starting a new one.

It was a wonderful 3-1/2 years in Anguilla, but I had lost myself. My identity. My me. My laughter, my smile. It's all back in spades.

Landed in Chicago and was right in the hustle and bustle of ORD, when I realized that the hustle and bustle was flowing around me. I wasn't part of it. What a nice feeling and I have to thank my time in Anguilla for how relaxed I am. How I learned what respect is. Patience. Understanding. And above all, I finally and truly found what love is. Special thanks to C for that. You will always be in my heart.

So, now I'm in Tucson with a grin on my face that just won't go away. The smells, the clear blue skies, the dryness, the soft breeze, and most of all the friends. Everyone seems genuinely happy to see me and the feeling is mutual. I thank you all for making me feel so special.

Stay tuned for the new adventures to come. I cannot wait and every day is a new beginning, new adventure, new friends. Thank God I'm alive, healthy, and happy. There are always people less fortunate then us. My thoughts and prayers to you S. C is a fighter and she'll beat this thing.

Love to you all.

Dad

11 years. Seems like yesterday. God I wish you were here. I know you are watching me and won't let me make any mistake too big. I know you are with me. Just wish you were here to talk to. I miss you more then I thought possible. I love you. Keep an eye on me, kay?

R.I.P Merle

The day finally came for Merle. She is in a much happier place. Me, too. After more then a month of deciding what to do with Merle, I did the right thing for both of us. It's never easy to do and I don't like playing God, but the passing of Merle has been cathartic for me. The day was extremely emotional for me and I can't thank C enough for being there with me.

I brought Merle home with me and buried her under the beautiful flamboyant tree, along with her ever present tennis ball. It took me almost a week of reflection, sadness, and grief, but I realized that although I was literally burying Merle, I was figuratively burying a part of my past and ready to move on to the next relationship and adventure.

Stay tuned. Tee hee. It's gonna be a blast!!

Cafe meanderings

Meet Poe. He's the newbie at the cafe. The animal rescue here in Anguilla needed a home for him and lo and behold, he ends up here. He's actually pretty cool. Already taking over the place and the customers love him. Tilla the rottweiler is not too keen on him, but Poe won the first battle. Tilla chased him all over running into tables, etc. Poe bolted up a tree and snarled at Tilla. Tilla was pissed and swears revenge, but I'm not so sure. I think (and hope), Poe is wilier then Tilla.




Hired a new waitress. Sweetie huh?














And her brother worked there for awhile too but........maybe I worked him too hard?















Now you know why I love to go to work every day. It's things like this that make it fun.

Elections

We have a new government!! What a wild ride. There are seven districts that all had to chose someone from the district. Guys were winning with like 300 votes. And these are the guys that are going to run the island. Was fun though. They actually count each ballot live on the radio. In order to keep track you have to tick them off on your sheet to find out who wins. The counting goes on until around 3AM and THEN the party starts. Horns honking, people yelling. What a throwback to the good old days.

So of course the new government takes control the very next day. First order of business? Make the next day a national holiday. Yippee. Nobody goes to work Guess that's their way of telling people what a cool government this one is going to be. Me? Not so sure. Time will tell how the new guys treat expats.

Already the new Chief Minister is driving around in a huge SUV. I guess to show how impotent he is. Or to let us know that he is also on the take like the previous government. The more they change, the more they stay the same. Stay tuned.

Beautiful Anguilla

With possibly new changes in the works, I am looking at Anguilla with new eyes. Been taking long walks on the beach, hiking the trails, seeing old things again through new eyes. It's amazing how you can live in paradise and forget how beautiful it is.

This is the hike I took the other day, down the path to the cave, and then on to the beach. I pretended I was Indiana Jones and I was entering into the Tomb of the Arawak. The cave was amazing. Further on down the path towards the sea where I was all by myself. Ahh, paradise.

What the "%^$&%?"

Submarine? Geez, this thing was in the bay for a few days. James Bond maybe. Never seen anything like it. Details-390 feet. Owned by one of the richest guy in the world. The yacht's name is "A" and it belongs to Andrey Melnichenko, a Russian energy and banking billionaire. Designed by Philippe Starck. Google him. The boat?, or whatever the hell it is, is named after his model wife. Turns out they came into the restaurant the other night. Yep. Drove up in a rental car just like all the rest of us slugs. Ya never know who might be eating dinner next to you down here.

The passing, the drums, and the cave

What a weekend on dee islon mon. Saturday I went off to my first island funeral. A rasta friend of mine's mother passed away. What a beautiful service with plenty of old time singing. They then walked with all the people across the street to the cemetery. Singing. It was a beautiful sendoff to a very nice woman. I only met her once, but that was enough to know what a wonderful person she was.

Saturday was a day of recuperation and then to a drum circle. My first ever. What an experience. If you ever get an opportunity, try it. There were young kids there, adults, and older people. There is something about all these instruments playing together that is good for the soul. Everyone has the rhythm inside them and it is easy to let it out. The facilitator actually told me I had great sense of rhythm and would/could I help her to facilitate in the future. She goes to schools and elderly homes to do it. I am definitely going to help out and even may do it on Saturdays down at the cafe.

Today was a rainy day, but didn't stop a friend and I from hiking down a beautiful trail that winds through lush vegetation all the way down to the sea. Afterwards, we went to some caves that have been here since before the Arawak Indians. I have never been inside a cave where we had to climb into it. There were passages that were quite small and others that you could easily stand up in. We ventured further into the cave when the realization hit us that we only had one flashlight and if it shit the bed on us we were in for a long crawl back to daylight. Well......that unnerved me enough to say, let's get the hell out of here and come back another time. Really fun and interesting to see. I'll be back.

Every time I think I've seen it all in Anguilla, new things pop up. Can't wait for next weekend to see what new adventures I can find myself in.

Forgetting Work for awhile

Sometimes in the day to day life down here, I forget where I live. Well, the last two days have rekindled why I love it here. Woke up on Sunday to a perfect balmy day with high clouds in the sky. Walking Long Bay along with the dogs, watching the fish as they swam, the birds as the dived, the sun sparkling off the sea. It all brought back the beauty of life in general. Today, a much needed day off. Planned on getting a bunch of errands done, but my body told me I needed a vacation day, so that's what I did. Lunch at Straw Hat, snorkel Long Bay, and then napping on the deserted beach. Ahhh, to be a tourist again.

Been thinking a lot about Merlzy. Getting really close to having to put her down. Just can't get myself to do it. She still loves to see me. Doesn't poop in the house. Goes to the beach with me. But she just doesn't have the same zest for life. Argh. Why are these decisions so hard? Some people close to me have said it's time, but then others say no. I'm leaning towards the ones that say no!! At this point, as soon as it's right in my mind, it will be time. Because of this decision I started reading a great book. "The Art of Racing in the Rain". Highly recommended. A story told through a dogs eyes, which tells us a lot about ourselves.

Stay tuned as I will be looking for support when the time comes.