Spirit

Someone once told me they loved my "spirit".  Thought, wow, that's cool.  Didn't really know what that meant but took it as a complement.  It has come to my attention through reading and pondering that my "spirit" fire has diminished and was just a fluttering lightly burning flicker.  The funk of the move to Boulder, the opening/closing of the dispensary, the opening/closing of a relationship, my bro' not being here for a bit, and the lack of a general direction have all conspired to diminish that flame.  I need to rekindle that "spirit" flame and get that baby blazing again.  So my quest now is to feed that fire and get that baby glowing!!  We'll call it feeding my "spirit child".  I still believe that good things are happening in my life that I'm not aware of just yet.  Like a seed has germinated inside me that is growing and will show itself to me soon.   What that is, I don't know, but it's gonna be good.

Every day is something new to be cherished and nurtured.  Tomorrow will be different then today and all those yesterdays add up to who I am today.  Anyone wanting to add fuel to my "spirit child" is more then welcome.

Island life.

Yesterday was BIG day in Anguilla.  The boat races were in full swing AND Anguila's own Shara Proctor qualified in the long jump at the Olympics.  The island was beside itself, not knowing whether to watch the national sport of boat racing or watch the daughter of the main grocery store compete.  Me?  Got to do both  from the comfort of my friends restaurant which is right on the sea with sweeping views of the race AND 50 inch flat screens.  Quite a turn out to see Shara and cheers went up every time she was shown on the TV.  Saw a lot of old acquaintances that I have now realized over the years have become good friends.  Funny how living in a small place for so long brings us all together.  Everyone thinks that living on a Caribbean island is a dream come true.  And it is.  But, I can tell you from experience and everyone that lives here will agree, it is not easy.  So many things we take for granted in the states are difficult here.  It is that sense of "we're all in this together" attitude that make for good friendships.  Of course, it makes for a large dysfunctional family as well with warts and all for everyone to see.  Nothing is secret!!

Oh, Shara?  Happy to say she is the 9th best women's long jumper in the world.  Congrats!!

Shout out

This is just a shout out to those of you who have helped me to deal with lost love.  I absolutely can not believe the amount of support I have received from so many people.  When people have asked me where R is and I have to tell them the story, every single one of them has been supportive and had kind words for me.  This coming from women and guys alike. Surprised me how many guys have actually said kind words to me and support me instead of the usual, "yeah, yeah, so who do you think will win the Super Bowl?"   Alas, I am seeing that too many people know what love is and what love lost is and nobody wants anyone to go through it. Me?  It's my first foray into it after all these years and I can tell you, I never, ever, ever, want to go through it again.  Ever.  There's an expression that you don't know what you have til it's gone.  Well, I knew what I had and miss it terribly.

A special super shout out to my Ma who has been with me every step of the way and knows exactly what I'm going through.  She is keeping up hope that cupid's arrow finds its mark again, but keeps me well grounded and level headed.  Or at least as level headed as this stubborn head will allow.  Thanks Ma for being my Ma and most of all, for being my best friend.

Yo ho ho

Saturday was a sailing day.  Went from Cap Jaluca to Sandy Ground.  Took about 3 hours with tacks etc.  I swear I must have been a pirate in my former life.  Something about being on the open sea, the wind blowing through my hair, salt spray keeping me cool, ice cold grog, and turtles swimming by checking us out as much as we're checking them out.  Beautiful creatures.  But alas, there were no boats to plunder, women to have our ways with, nor booty to be found anywhere.  So land ho.

Not too shabby

Went down to see the sunset last night at Sand Bar.  Seeing J & D was great as they told me how much they love living in my house, how they have fixed up the yard, neighborhood is great, and oh, by the way, there's a  plumbing problem.  WHAT!!  No worries, they have a plumber that can fix it.  Can't really complain since I have had really no problems at the house since I started renting it.  Fingers crossed it's not something really bad.  

Down to Shoal Bay for a swim and lo and behold meet up with an old friend that was visiting.  Didn't know she was here but for some reason she knew I was.  What the hell?  Only been here a few days and people know I'm back.  Small island indeed.  Don't know if I should feel bad about the fact that my quiet, restful, contemplative, lifestyle is already being tread upon, or be happy that people care enough that they are excited to see me.  I'll choose the latter.

Helped J & C close up the restaurant for the season.  Basically just putting everything away in case a hurricane should happen to hit while they are away and I am in charge.  Oh, and Neal would you like about 6 fresh lobsters and bunch of steaks?  They'll go bad otherwise.  So tonight, it was surf and turf complements of my house sitting employers.  Downed it with a few heiny's and life is good. 

Ahh, tomorrow's another day.  Can't wait to wake up, walk Apple, the dog, to the beach, do my usual morning swim, and wait for the world to unfold before me again.  Never know what's gonna happen but I know it's gonna be interesting.  

Buffalo Springield

There's an old song that starts, "There's something happenin' here, what it is ain't exactly clear".  My feeling exactly.  Weird feeling that "somethings happenin'".  Have no idea what that is but I can feel it in my bones that within the next 6 months, my life is changing.  Currently back in dee islons and feeling good.  The warm sea breezes and moisture in the air is good for the skin and soul.  Being around happy people that warmly smile and say "good afternoon", swimming in the crystal clear sea, the island patois, the smell of bar b que, and the way laid back atmosphere, are just what the doc ordered.  Opens up my mind to all the possibilities and makes me aware that when one door closes, another one opens.  Stay tuned for more of "mi vida loca".

I'm baaaaacccckkk

Man, it's been a long time.  Since nobody reads this anymore, figure it'll become my own personal journal.  Lot's of changes happened and lot's more to come.  Hmmm.  Where am I going to be in 2 months?  Both physically and mentally.  Sold the dispensary and now no reason to stay in Boulder.  The world has suddenly opened up.  The joys and sadness of being without someone.  Easy to get up and go somewhere.  Alone though.  Bummer.  Lost a love of my life that actually taught me what love is.  You really don't know love until you've experienced it fully.  Given 110 percent. Glad I did.  But the hurt will linger a long time  I thought I was in love in the past, but now I know what it really is.  Alas, she didn't feel the same way.  No regrets though.  I did everything right.  Just wasn't meant to be.  Love is about timing.  Both have to be on the same time in their respective lives.  I will always remember you R.